Heart Issues

Movies are bittersweet sometimes. They can really mess with your heart.
I am a hopeless romantic. Yep. I am in love with love. I desire, like most women do, to be "that" girl. You know the one I'm talking about, the one that catches your eye because you just can't put your finger on what is so drawing about her. The one who gets to be swept off her feet. Who is serendaded (literally! AH! Someday Lord, please. :) ) and thought of. There is just nothing like an observant guy who does something random for you (hmm, can you tell one of my main love languages is gifts!) Gosh, okay, like I said, movies can really get your heart in a weird place. It's hard feeling this way, not content. Lord God, I pray that you'de fill this void up with your love and peace that passes understanding. I desire a lot and you know it all, thank you Father God, guide and direct my heart Lord because I can see myself falling down a path that I know I'll regret. I give you my whole heart...again, :)...I want to be completly yours.

CHECK IT OUT!!!

I can't figure out how to work this darn program, I wanted to make a sweet little table of "links", but I can't figure out how! So, here are some really awesome links that you should definatly take a peeksie @ sometime!

Jill Paquette: This lady is definatly a poet, her lyrics are so convicting and honest. God has used her music to speak so much truth into my life. Her acoustic sound is awesome too.

Jill Phillips and Andy Gullahorn: I love their sound so much! The words of their music and their kind-of folk/rock sound stirs my soul. God also has used their music to draw me into his presence.

Krystal Meyers: Geeze! This girl rocks! This is normally not my style of music (punk), but this girl is just amazing. Talk about starting a revolution of individualists who follow after God with reckless abandon. And I doubt she is older then 17. Also check out her other website at: www.anticonformity.net

Louie Giglio: At 268generation.com this guy posts his weekly sermons (go to:"Thirsty: Fuel for the Journey" to see them) and they are truly amazing. He is an amazing speaker. He shepherds a congregation of I would say about 10,000 (I'm guessing though) in the Atlanta area. The worship is also all on there and MAN do they rock! Gosh, God has spoken to me so many times while I'm sitting at my computer listening in and watching all this. CHECK THIS OUT! IT'S WORTH IT!

Jennifer Knapp: Oh man! I'm a huge fan of Jen's. She is an amazing writer. Her voice rocks, literally, she is an amazing guitarist too! I really look up to female artists who write and play their own music. I so respect her music and it really inspires me to learn guitar! She has a broad spectrum of style everything from accapella to rock to folk but her awesome acoustic-driven rock sound just draws you in. She currently has so offical website, but has multiple CDs out, they are worth getting if you like this type of music!

Grace Community Church: This is my home church. I've been going there for about 12 years and it's been such an amazing 2nd home to me.

Sean Fooks: This aspiring artist's rockin' style is worth listening to. This shamless plug is for one of my best friend's Sean. His talent is big and his heart is bigger, check him out!

Ethan Emerson: This guy is awesome! I found him on purevolume.com and I just love it. His music is soul stirring. He's not signed or anything, which is awesome. I hope he will be someday so I can get one of his CDs.

Friend's blogs:

*Matt

*Stuart

Alrighty, now that I have given you a list of things I believe are worth checking out, what are ya gonna do about it? hah? Yep. That's correct-a-mundo! You are going to go and see if I'm right. And then if you want to be ever-so-kind you could leave a comment about what you think about these suggestions. :) Go ahead...make my day...drop me a line. :)

Brokenness

Faking brokenness is completly stupid, but I do it. I so long to be a broken individual that I actually fake being broken when really I havn't even come to the conclusion that something is wrong with me. Actually, that's not true, I know something's wrong, I just don't know what.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I love my friends more then God. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I place my hope and trust and joy in others. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I havn't spent time with the Lord, really spent time with him, consistenly, in a few months. I judge people based on outward appearances, not just physical selfs but what they "appear" to be. Man, if anyone knew the things that go through my mind, I don't know how many people could stand to be around me. I fight it, don't get me wrong, but I still really struggle with the temptation to condemn people. I fake brokenness by being eloquent with what I say. I fake a good relationship with the Lord if only because I SO desire to have one.
I am the daughter of the God Most High. I am set apart as holy. I am clothed in Christ's righteousness. When God sees me, he sees something beautiful, perfectly beautiful. I am His love. His passion. He thinks about me all day long. GOSH DANGIT! WHY IN THE WORLD CAN'T I JUST BE OKAY. Why can't I just get a flippin' clue and live life. Why can't I just feel God's touch. Why can't I just see his face. Why can't I have a passion for his Word and never take it forgranted. FREAKING, AHHHH! Okay, woo, *breathing now*..... Lord Jesus, lover of my soul and redeemer of my tumultuous heart I surrender my entire being, as much as I can, to you right now. All that I have has always been in your hands and forgive me for trying to take it back, stupidly! You can and will handle everything in your timing. Break me God. Break me down. Show me the way to everlasting peace and joy. Forgive me for the idols in my life: friends, love, love for friends, false/comfortable images of you.... I lay them down at the foot of the cross, because that is where they belong, out of my hands into your arms. To you I give this ever pressing desire to appear to have it all together, when I so evidently don't. I want to fall in love with you and I know you have to peel back some of the scales that have slowly, but surly, developed on my heart, please continue to do that Father God. Abba, I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm going to lose all my closest friendships, please meet them where they are at and comfort them and build them up. Encourage them Father. Oh God I have poured out too much of my heart and life into these people, I now give you full reign of my heart. May I do your will Abba father, that is my only desire.

God's GREAT!

Yep, so Lord, you really are amazing. You have offically blown me away and made me stand in complete awe. Lord you are incredible and GOSH I'm SO BLIND! "Thank you for the cross, thank you for the cross, thank you for the cross my friend!" I lay me down at your feet God because it's the only place where I can breathe. Thank you for your Word and how it's been here all along; God thank you so much for your patience through my blindness! You are perfectly unique and it would be complete blaspheme to share that status with any other! (Ben's paraphrase of Isaiah 42:8) "Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging, your love is a mountain firm beneath my feet. Your love is a mystery, how you gently lift me when I am surrounded your love carries me!"
It's weird to not know what to say and yet have SO much to say, all at once! Ha! Praise you Jesus, you're interceeding for me now! :)
God I lift up those in my life who are hurting, who feel hopeless, who feel like they're dying inside. God I pray that you give them your hope, which DOES NOT disappoint and your peace which passes ALL understanding. God I pray for those in my life who are fighting off illnesses, God I pray that you heal them and fill them with the joy of your salvation. Lord I lift up those in my life whom I love deeply, God thank you for these people. Thank you that I meet you when I meet them! (thanks to Margo for that phrase! Love ya babe!) GOLLY GEE WIZ LORD YOU ARE GOOD AND YOUR LOVE ENDURES FOOORRREEVVEEERRR! I pray that everyone in my life would know this truth God. May I shine your truth to them! Oh Lord, use me God! Use me father. I want to be a holy and pure vessel used by you! Thank you Lord Jesus for your blood, it is my covering and my shelter! WOO HOO! THANK YOU FOR THIS JOY! Fill me up with the truth of your word Lord!

Him

He'll be a pursuer of your heart Jesus. In-love with you. I'll be second, but deeply loved, that's where I belong. He'll know what it is to take care of his own heart, so that he can take care of mine. A gentleman, like you Jesus. Gentle, seeking you to know how to love me. His heart will be captured and forever ransomed by you. Someone to walk through life with, a forever friend, someone to share my heart with, pour my love into.
I promise now Lord Jesus, Lover of My Soul, that I will not settle for anyone accept this man...your man, the man that you have for me. Your best. I'm your daughter, and as a protective dad, I rest in your arms and trust that you will provide, in your timing. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for the cross, through it I live and breathe. May I live in your embrace forever. I cannot truly love someone until I know what it to be inraptured by your face and in-love with you. Protect my heart, it's fragile and easily broken. Protect me from giving it to others. Capture my mind with the knowledge of you and turn my eyes to your beautiful self. My heart aches for fulfillment...you are the only one who will EVER fill me completly. May I begin to know more of you today. I love you Lord Jesus.

Love Always,
Whitney Elizabeth

Masks

They're cumbersome, so why do we wear them? They lie to us about our own reality, then why the heck to we insist on wearing them. We are a culture of comfort. We have medicine for our dandruff, yellow nails, and aches of every kind. So, when it comes to admitting our own weakness, failure, brokeness and right out selfishness, it is neccesary that we put up a facade. It comes in many forms. Some of us hide behind our appearance, if we just look the part maybe we can pass as a ________ you fill in the blank. Punk, good girl, spiritual giant, maybe even just an averege person (God knows we arn't normal or sane), our best friend, etc... We all do it. Me you ask? Who am I? What do I put up? Yeah, I try to be the perfect girl. Perfect clothes, perfect smile, perfectly organized and on top of things, perfect walk with the Lord, even when I'm doing bad I put it in an eloquent way so as to appear that even then I "have it together". Now, this is a standard that I place on myself, it's perfection in my own eyes. No, grades arn't that important to me, if I get a C it is not the end of my world. No having perfectly straight hair, perfectly tan and thin body, no these things arn't important to me. Honestly, because I don't believe that's beautiful. Perfect in the sense that people can never think of me badly, they can't think of me as anything less then "on top of things, taking care of things, everything is under control". It's tiring. But I don't know how to be anything else. What would my life look like if people knew me for me? Or more, if I started living a free life free of worry of being "discovered". GOSH! LORD FREE ME FROM THIS QUIET DESPARATION!

Ransomed Hearts

"Life is a Story. This is true for every soul.

It is a love story, we assure you. But it is set in the midst of a life and death battle. That is why it seems so hard.

The story of your life is the story of the journey of your heart through a dangerous and beautiful world. It is the story of the long and sustained assault on your heart by the Enemy who knows who you could be and fears you. But it is also the story of the long and mysterious pursuit of your heart by the God who knows you truly and loves you deeply.

As we live through the pages of this story many questions arise. Who am I…really? Where will I find life…really? And, What is it God wants from me?"

-John Elderedge

What do you love? It says something about your heart. What do you desire? That too says something profound about who you are. "Waking the Dead" by John Elderedge is one of the most profound books I've ever read, God used that book to speak amazing truth into my life and to cast out alot of fear that came with lies I had been believing and still struggle with believing. www.ransomedheart.com is his website, that is where I got the above paragraph, but it's pretty much directly quoted from Waking the Dead.

Good-Morning LORD

Why the lack of joy when I wake up in the morning? Lord, how quickly I forget you and all you have given me! Forgive me Jesus, oh man! thank you Jesus. Lord, remind me today that I am a part of your story, you are not a part of mine. I Praise you Lord for your patience and grace and amazing, mind-blowing love! Show me your love today God, I need your embrace like the air I breathe!!!

Your Daughter,
Whitney

Being a Girl

What an amazing thing it is to be an ancestor of Eve! I finished reading a really amazing book about women (listen up gentlemen...) called, "Captivating" by John and Stasi Elderedge. It was truly an amazing book. God really used it to put to words the deep desires of my heart, and probably every other woman's heart as well. It described what a woman's heart secretly cries out for: To be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty.
That's it! That is what my heart longs for! And it's evident in most woman's lives, if you take a closer look behind what we all do.

"Why is it so hard to create meaningful frienships and sustain them? Why do our days feel so unimportant, filled not with romance and adventure but with duties and demands? We feel unseen, even by those closest to us. We feel unsought---that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past out meeiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel uncertain---uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or ever will be. Aware of our deep failings, we pour contempt on our own hearts for wanting more. Oh, we long for intimacy and for adventure; we long to be the Beauty of some great story. But the desires set deep in our hearts seem like a luxury, granted only to those women who get their acts together. The message to the rest of us---whether from a driven culture or a driven church---is to try harder"

The heart of a woman is complex and seemingly confusing but when you break it down and see it for what it really is, these three things are very evident.

I love and I do repeat LOVE being a girl. Not just so I can wear beautiful dresses and have long curly hair but because there is a unique beauty and desire that God has placed in every woman (and every man for that matter) and I'm so thankful for being the one in possession of that unique beauty. I'm God's beloved. I'm his woman. I'm his love. I capitivate my creator. Every woman desires to be captivating in the eyes of someone, she desires to live her life out before the eyes of another if only so they can see her soul for what it truly is and love her for it. We long to be seen, desired and sought for. The song by Bethany Dillon "For My Love" really puts it perfectly....

Walk towards me
I want to hear
The heavens singing over you
When you breathe and look at me
I want to be captured by you
Gaze into my eyes
And let me know you’d fight thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love
I want to hide what’s deep in my eyes
I’m scared to be known by you
But when I turn my head
And see you there
I want to be pursued
Gaze into my eyes
And let me know you’d fight thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love
A dream I won’t wake from
A story that will never end
The ground your feet walk on
Let me be there, let me be there
Gaze into my eyes
Let me know you’d fight thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love
Gaze into my eyes
Let me know you’d fight thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Ask me for my love

Note to the Gentlemen: We need your strength and your affirmation. Fighting on behalf of us through prayer, not passive but active like a solider. Knowing who you are in Christ, as his man, and loving us like He would is what our hearts hurt for. "A woman in the presence of a good man, a real man, loves being a woman. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish. His pursuit draws out her beauty. And a man in the presence of a real woman loves being a man. Her beauty arouses him to play the man, it draws out his strength. She insires him to be a hero."

I reccomend this book to anyone and everyone, male and female!

"You can find that life---if you are willing to embark on a great adventure. That is what we are inviting you to. Not to learn one more set of standars you fail to meet. Not toward a new set of rules to live by and things to ought to do. Something far, far better--- a journey of the heart. A journey toward the restoration and release of the woman (or man) you always longed to be. This book is not about what you ought to do or who you ought to be. It's about discovering who you already are, as a woman (or a man). A woman who at her core was made for romance, made to play an irreplaceable role in a shared adventure, and who really does possess a beauty all her own to unveil. The woman God had in mind when he made Eve...and when he made you. Glorious, powerful, and captivating." (emphasis added)

God's Love

"Lift your eyes, and look upon me. For though you have forgotten me, I have not forgotten you. While you have busied yourselves with your daily occupations, I have still been occupied with you. When your mind has been captured by the affairs of life, my thoughts have been of you.
My little children, you cannot weary my love. You may grieve my heart, but my love is changless, infinite. I long for you to turn to me. My hands are full of blessings that I desire to give you. I long to hear your voice. You speak much with others, Oh speak to me! I have so much to tell you.
I'm not a remote power. I am an intimate person, even as yourself. Have you forgotten that I made you in my own image and likeness? It is not that I am as you, but you are like me. Do not let material and physical elements destroy your comprehension of me as a person. 'Touch me and handle me', I told Thomas (see John 20:27). To you I say: Cast yourself upon me; pour out your love to me.
You will discover that I am as tangible to you as I was to Thomas.
Reach forth your hand, and lay it upon my broken heart. Yes, take hold of my nail-pierced hand. Now, can you still doubt My love?"

- from,"Come Away My Beloved"

Come

“Come and ruin me with Your love, so no other is enough" -Watermark

Capitave our hearts Jesus. Devestate us with your presence. I have sought after lovers less wild: love of others, friendship with others, my own efforts to be you, material things, apperances of being something I'm not, security in my situation, etc. All these things will never really lavish on me the love that I need to breathe and live this life fully. Capture me in your embrace and don't let me go. Please Jesus, I can't live without your touch...it restores my life and unveils the glory of my soul. I want to be completly your's. I don't want to live a life of quiet desparation anymore, faking my way through my life, trying to be something that I am not yet and at the same time trying to be something that I used to be. The lie that, I am too much and not enough at the same time and the lie that I shouldn't speak, I shouldn't offer my heart because no one will listen or care....LORD JESUS BANISH THESE BECAUSE AND THROUGH THE CROSS! I claim the cross and the blood and ask these things on behalf of my friends as well. I pray this for Sean. I pray this for Mackenzie. I pray this for Kati Jo. I pray this for Margo. I pray this for Matt. I pray this for Gene. I pray this for Joe. I pray this for Rachael. I pray this for the world. I pray this for Amber and Johannah, Jordyn, Annie, Elisabeth and everyone else in my life whom I love and cherish. Oh Lord God, I ask you to reconcile to yourself my dad. And for my mom, I pray this on her behalf!! How my heart breaks in two when I see their state. Banish the lies they are beliving. YOU ARE THE SAVIOR! ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE IN YOU! I ASK IN YOUR NAME THAT THIS WOULD BE DONE....IN YOUR TIME LORD! Give me the patience and perspective of Job, the wisdom of Solomon and the passion of your Son!

Your Daughter,

Whitney Elizabeth

Intercession

I think of it as the best gift possible to pray for people. I mean, you are requesting that God change their lives. You are a part of that life-change. What an amazing privilage. I find it really hard to pray for other people with a fervant, unceasing heart. So I ask of you Lord that you grow me up into this. I pray that I could be more like the people of the Bible who's passion for you outweighed time or weariness...they prayed with passion, and you changed things through it! Thank you for hearing my prayers, and PRAISE YOU JESUS for interceeding for me when I have no words, or I don't say it correctly.

I pray for Monsieur Fooks now. Grant him the peace of your sweet presence. God I pray that every lie that he believes about you, about life and about himself would be wiped away by the blood of Christ and because of the blood of Christ I ask that you would continue to reconcile him to yourself. Oh GOD! I pray that you'de speak to him, that you'de show him your truth, reveal to him how much you hurt when he hurts, how you shed tears when he does and how he doesn't need to try and be strong, he just needs to collapse in your arms of grace. Thank you for what you are doing in him, I praise you for bringing him to the place of surrender, peel back the layers of his heart further Jesus. Yes Lord God, I ask this of you. Be his only refuge, and oh God, show him you're unfailing love. People will let him down, but you never will...Sean if you ever read this, know that this is what I pray on you're behalf, know that you are deeply loved and know that the person you are growing into is one to be proud of!

I will continue to pray for people, and I will continue to write out these prayers for them because I know that God hears my words, written or spoken. Today my thoughts were directed towards Sean. I pray that you'de reveal who it is in your will for me to pray for later.
Praise you Jesus! Praise you for the cross which so clearly demonstrates you're faithfulness, grace and amazing love! THANK YOU FOR YOUR BLOOD, IT'S MY ONLY HOPE!

Perfectly Everything I Need

You're Everything

As sung by: David Crowder

You're everything I could want that I could need
If I could see you want me could I believe?
Cause You're perfectly all I want, all I need
If I could just feel you're touch could I be free?
Why do You shine so? Can a blind man see?
Why do You call? Do You beckon me?
Can the deaf hear the voice of love? Would You have me come, can the cripple run? Are You the one?
To raise me up from this grave
Touch my tongue, and then I'll sing
Heal my limbs, then joyfully I'll run to you
Cause you're everything
And I'm alive and I'll sing and I'm alive and I'm free!
===================================

You want to know something about me? Do you want to know more of my heart? Then really read these lyrics, really dig into what they are. THIS IS THE DEEPEST CRY OF MY HEART! Not much else states it more perfectly then this song. I truly have looked in most everything and everybody else while all along perfectly everything I want and need has been in Jesus Christ. We as Christians typically say that the answer to all our problems is "Jesus" and we even make fun of ourselves by responding in a sarcastic tone that "oh Jesus is the answer". But guess what all yall the KEY to happiness, the key to success, the key to joy, the key to life is Jesus Christ. It may sound cliche' but it's actually the most profound truth you'll ever find. GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY....HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT WILL EVER SATISFY ME! Why in the heck have I been so blind...oh yeah, that's right, I'm a fallen human being and there is someone who's life mission is to destroy me! Ohhhh, yeah, I can see now how that might be an issue! Ha! But JESUS IS SOO MUCH BIGGER, SO MUCH STRONGER. Praise Him! OH Man! Praise God!

Dear Refuge Of My Weary Soul

As sung by: Indelible Grace

Dear refuge of my weary soul,
On Thee when sorrows rise
On Thee when waves of trouble roll,
My fainting hope relies
To Thee I tell each rising grief,
For Thou alone canst heal
Thy Word can bring a sweet relief,
For every pain I feel.

But oh! When gloomy doubts prevail,
I fear to call Thee mine
The springs of comfort seem to fail,
And all my hopes decline
Yet gracious God where shall I flee?
Thou art my only trust
And still my soul would cleave to Thee
Though prostrate in the dust.

Hast Thou not bid me seek Thy face,
And shall I seek in vain?
And can the ear of sovereign grace,
Be deaf when I complain?
No still the ear of sovereign grace,
Attends the mourner’s prayer
Oh may I ever find access,
To breathe my sorrows there.

Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet
Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet.

Hello God!

What does this day hold? How am I to live today? Help me to fall in-love with you more...show me more of your truth. I want to be all your's today. Nothing of me...all of you. Quiet me down. I need you.

Your's Truly,

Whitney

Letting God be God

Sometimes the most profound revelations are the most obvious things you could ever think of. Like how I'm not God. YEAH! DUH! But, uno what I really do act like I am sometimes, trying to control things and all. I have come to the conclusion that, in the words of Sara Groves, "I'm not God, I'm just a girl I confess". Martin Luther stated something that has been so profound to me... "Let God be God". Simple. But when you REALLY think about it, it's something that if we actually did, it would radically change how we viewed life, how we treated others, ourself and God. We wouldn't be the same people if we actually let God do his job which is being...the all faithful one, all powerful one, all knowing one, our father, our savior, or redeemer, the one in control of of all our circumstances, the one who heals, loves and picks up us off our face when we fall....man, that is a big burden for us to try and carry, if only we knew what it was like to fall into the arms of Jesus just as we were and knew that we were completly secure and safe and complete. :) That would be amazing. It would change me. I would no longer have any escuse...other then the whole fallen nature thing (oh yeah, that! ha!), to not love him completely. Man...that is the cry of my heart LORD (cool fact: have you ever noticed how sometimes God's name in the Bible is spelled, "Lord" and sometimes "LORD", well, that was intentional. LORD means Sovereign one and Lord is more like a title like "God" it is who he is and LORD is what he is! Isn't that awesome! Ha!)