Masks

They're cumbersome, so why do we wear them? They lie to us about our own reality, then why the heck to we insist on wearing them. We are a culture of comfort. We have medicine for our dandruff, yellow nails, and aches of every kind. So, when it comes to admitting our own weakness, failure, brokeness and right out selfishness, it is neccesary that we put up a facade. It comes in many forms. Some of us hide behind our appearance, if we just look the part maybe we can pass as a ________ you fill in the blank. Punk, good girl, spiritual giant, maybe even just an averege person (God knows we arn't normal or sane), our best friend, etc... We all do it. Me you ask? Who am I? What do I put up? Yeah, I try to be the perfect girl. Perfect clothes, perfect smile, perfectly organized and on top of things, perfect walk with the Lord, even when I'm doing bad I put it in an eloquent way so as to appear that even then I "have it together". Now, this is a standard that I place on myself, it's perfection in my own eyes. No, grades arn't that important to me, if I get a C it is not the end of my world. No having perfectly straight hair, perfectly tan and thin body, no these things arn't important to me. Honestly, because I don't believe that's beautiful. Perfect in the sense that people can never think of me badly, they can't think of me as anything less then "on top of things, taking care of things, everything is under control". It's tiring. But I don't know how to be anything else. What would my life look like if people knew me for me? Or more, if I started living a free life free of worry of being "discovered". GOSH! LORD FREE ME FROM THIS QUIET DESPARATION!