The Word

What is with this Bible complex of mine. I don't read my Bible but I don't really know why. I suppose most of the time I wake up in the morning and am excited about the day and just don't want to sit in my room any longer and read it. SO TAKE IT DOWNSTAIRES! Gosh. Okay, so it's hard for me to just sit and read my Bible. I want to, for sure, or do I...the truth is, I don't most of the time. I know that's no excuse because I should read it even when I don't want to..it's not some casual novel I can pick up when I like, it's the Word of God. I think I've forgotten who's the authority in my life. I'm pretty sure I've forgotten who God is and how he feels towards me. Last night as I was praying I was trying to work out with the Lord what I've been feeling towards him lately and what came to mind was...Spiritually under nourished. WHY? OH! Because I'm not reading my Bible. What is it going to take for me to actually read it?! "God please give me a desire to read you word, it's the bread of life and I'm spiritually anorexic right now." You know, that's interesting, I think that I've definatly been spiritually bulimic before too. I fill up on good spiritual feelings of God and almost like a crash diet I go out and change my ways drastically but it's roots arn't firm in me because after the spiritual high ends I assume God' left the building. WRONG but that's often my mental inclination.
This is a realyl great song below. It's by Sara Groves and I just love it. Check out the Words!

I've done every devotional
Been every place emotional
Trying to hear a new word from God
And I think it's very odd
That while I attmept to help myself
My Bible sits upon my shelf
With every promise I could ever need

CHORUS:
And the Word was
And the Word is
And the Word will be

People are getting fit for truth
Like they're buying a new tailored suit
Does it fit across the shoulders
Does it fade when it get older
We throw ideas that aren't in style
In the Salvation Army pile
And search for something more to meet our needs

CHORUS

I think it's time I rediscover
All the ground that I have covered,
Like seek ye first what a verse
We are pressed but not crushed
Perplexed but don't despair
We are persecuted but not abandoned
We are no longer slaves
We are daughters and sons
And when we are weak we are very strong
And neither death nor life nor present
Nor future nor depth nor height
Can keep us from the love of Christ
And the Word I need is the Word that was
Who put on flesh to dwell with us
In the beginning

CHORUS

The opposite of love is indifference. If you hate someone that means you still care. I think that's why God's says it better to love him or hate him, and not be lukewarm.

10 Questions

So I made a little quiz thingy and it would AWESOME if you filled out your own answers. I love getting to know more about who people are.... :D

1. What is a dream of yours? To own my own bakery someday

2. What type of music do you listen to? All kinds, but my favorites are: blues and jazz & acoustic-driven folk rock Artists like: Bonnie Raitt, Justin Lacroix, John Mayer, Jill Paquette, Bethany Dillon, Joss Stone, K.T. Tustall, etc.

3. What would you say is your number one passion? Getting to know Jesus and life he wants me to live and learning how to do his will in everything is my number one passion.

4. What are your weaknesses? Chocolate chip cookies, boys who can sing their behinds off, pride, fancy hair products, putting people above Jesus.

5. What is the most attractive qualities in a person of the opposite sex (be HONEST)? Honestly...passion for music, beautiful smile, randomn/off-beat humor, lack of fear to look stupid (either to stand up for injustice or in child-like fun), spiritual maturity.

6. If you got $100 dollars in the mail today and you only had one day to spend it what would you do with it (Be HONEST)? To be honest, I would go and buy as many Fredrick Fekkai hair products as I could with $100. They're kinda pricy and If I just magically got $100, I'd probably go and spend it on that! ha!

7. What gives you butterflies in your stomach? Knowing that I have to go in front of people and either sing or speak. The fear of forgetting what to sing or say gives them to me.

8. What makes you feel all warm and fuzzy? Movies where a guy fights for a girl's love, good blues music, really good hugs, holding hands.

9. What inspires child-like wonder in you? Nature, downtown Seattle at Christmas time, going into toy-stores with friends (or without, but specifically with!) and disney movies.

10. What fuels your life? Hope fuels my life. Faith that Jesus is who he says he is and that I can trust that is what fuels my life and gives me joy. Hope doesn't disappoint and I'm confident of that.

Life is poetry

I'm a romantic. Always have been but I think that part of me is maturing in a sense. My romanticism isn't as driven by lust anymore so much as poetic opmimism. I'm not detached from reality and consquences I just choose to see the beauty in life and see life from a poetic standpoint.
I want to be missed. To be remembered. For someone to walk into a store, smell something that reminds them of me and miss me.
Is that strange? Is that wrong to want? I don't belive so. I think that desire for love is at the core of everyone. I don't usually let it manifest itself. I've never been in a serious relationship (other than friendship) and I'm glad that I havn't yet! So many high school relationships are all about feeling and emotion and you give too much of your heart (not to mention purity)away only to have it not taken care of. There's this awesome song by Bonnie Raitt called, "Love me like a man". I love the blues and this song is categorically that. :) There's this great line in it, "How can they love me, when they can't even love themselves"...I can't be number one to a guy. And well, I suppose I see this line of the song differently than Bonnie intended it. To me, to really love and know who you are means to be surrendered fully to the Lord. If a guy isn't God's, and if Jesus isn't his first love then he can't really love me. And I have yet to come across a gentleman who is the Lord's and who really loves me. So, I continue to be a patient romantic.

I love love. It's true. But patience is so important and I know that.