How to combat discouragment

Exercise. don't think about it. exercise.

Summer 06'- Summer 07'

The difference of one summer is amazing. To the left is a picture of me last summer. I had lost 20 lbs. but was completely out of shape. I didn't do any preparation for the hike. I had trouble breathing and thought I would throw-up for most of the hike.

The pictures below are of this summer. I had lost 33 lbs. and had much better endurance and muscle strength. I had prepared for about 6 months for the hike and it really showed. I was at the front of the group the whole trip and my heart and lungs held up just fine!! SUCH AN ACCOMPLISHMENT and testiment to how far I've come physically!

35 lbs.

Since I got back from the Czech Republic this summer I've been going strong. Program was very difficult in Czech...correction, impossible. I didn't think I could get so stressed out about food but Czech proved it's possible. However, God is good. He provided ways to have peace of mind. The increased activity, supportive team (Katcha, Janelle and I walked 8 miles to town to buy fruit and nuts one day), and just perspective. I figured if I gained 10 lbs. on the trip, it was no big deal because I knew how to lose it once I got home!

well, I got home, weighed in at Weight Watchers and only gained .4 lbs. Less than 1/2 a lb. AMAZING. ha! Food and a change of eating habits has such a way of playing with your mind.
I did incredible on the 17.5 mile hike this year. SOOO much better than last year. Honestly, the fact that I kept up with the group, and wasn't too exhausted afterwards was more of an accomplishment to me than losing 35 lbs. overall.

That's right. I'm .2 lbs. away from my 35 lb. mark. And only 2.2 lbs. away from my 20% mark. I will have lost 20% of my body weight! I remember when I lost the first 10% of my body weight, it felt like such an accomplishment. And now that I'm at 20%, I feel like a completely diffiferent person. Exercise has changed my body entirely. I'm turning into an athlete. It's incredible. I am now setting myself athletic goals and I'm finding that process is more rewarding than seeing the numbers on the scale get smaller!

Goal #1: Look like I workout...build muscle.
Goal #2: Start walk/jog/run program with mom and build up endurance.
Goal #3: Train for a 5k and complete.
Goal #4: Train for a 10k and complete.
Goal #5: Join running class at Green River next summer, pass the class.
Long-term goal: Run a marathon.
Long-term goal: Be a runner.

Curvy is the new black

Okay. So I've decided to start fresh. screw discouragement! it gets me nowhere!! I'm starting my summer slimdown plan TODAY. Here's the rundown:

Time Frame: June (2 wks.), July (4 wks.), August (4 wks.), September (3 wks--till the 23rd).

Goal: Gain strength. Tone up. Slim down. Build muscle, lose fat. To not get consumed with numbers and scale related successes but focus on confidence and health.

Method:

1. Spend at least 1 hour everyday outside, doing something active.
2. Eat wisely; be concious!
3. Drink up on water and water based foods (low-energy density=satisfaction)
4. Journal what I eat. why?: because I eat so much that I'm unaware of, and eat I it for the wrong reasons.
5. Be active EVERY SINGLE DAY. why?: because there is no reason not to be, it's beautiful outside and you want to spend your summer trying new things and going on adventures!

6/18/07

Great week. Bad week. Bad week. And here I sit. I can't seem to be consistent. I'm turning to food for all the wrong reasons and not working out. Which is leaving me feeling depressed, disgusting and out of control. I don't like feel this way. I hate being so obsessed with my body, no one should be. I know how to solve my current predicament but somehow I can't muster up the motivation and drive to actually do that..consistently. I'm down 2.8 then down 1.4, then up 2.8. AH. I hate that I know the point value of everything as I'm stuffing it into my face. I hate that I can't just seem to snap back on program.

6/2/07

I lost what I had gained last week. SO EXCITING. I feel so much more in control this week, so far that is. I've been journaling everything that goes into my mouth. Which, consequently, makes me much more aware of what I'm eating. I'm heading off to Eastern Washington today for a concert and bringing snacks and lunch and breakfast for tommorow. It's wonderful. And I've journaled it all already. ha! I love this program. I'm so excited to see more results.

5/28/07

wow. Today was the first day that I just woke up, slipped on a pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt and walked out the door. Okay, I took shower first. :) Starting this whole weight loss journey over a year ago, it was my goal to be able to put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt without worrying about anything. Today I did. It feels incredible. so out of this world incredible! And, I bought a straight cut brocade dress today in a size 8. AHHH. I've gone from a 16 to an 8. That's just amazing to me.

yesterday was interesting. While I was working out I suddenly became overwhelmingly discouraged and defeated. I couldn't stay on the tredmill and I felt like crying. I had no idea what was going on. it was the strangest thing. All these super negative thoughts were overwhelming me. Thoughts like, "you cannot do this!", "You'll always be a big girl", "this workout isn't gonna make all that cellulite you have go away, don't even try."
I'm NOT that girl. I'm not the type to get down on myself like that. I got off the tredmill and just prayed. I think it was the Devil's work. Anyways, I got back on the tredmill and worked out a little longer. It ended well.

Despite what the scale tells me, 15 lbs from goal, I've come further then I ever thought was possible. The fact that I can just throw something on in the morning is an incredible feat.
Before I would have spent an hour trying on different things trying to figure out what would be the most flattering. Dress over jeans with a sweater probably, to cover up my arms, stomach and booty. Hair down because up made my face look too round. etc. No one needs that stress. I no longer have it.. PRAISE GOD.

5/25/07

Let me just say...for the record: I'm officially a skinny person. I have abs. Yes, it's true. No more "middle section." ABS! ahh. Shaped and toned. I LOVE IT. I gained last week but I fully expected it and mentally prepared myself for it. I'm so darn proud of the progress i've made. For this whole year and a half, I havn't ever used a "no weigh-in pass." This is a big accomplishment. I have just accepted whatever loss or gain that I've had for that week on program. I'm now back on program for an entirely new and exciting week of journaling and learning. I'm wearing a top right now that was too small when I bought it. It looks fabulous. I'm thrilled at how far I've come. i'm a completely different person. it feels amazing.

5/15/07

Wow. The last couple of weeks have been great on program. I've been learning a lot and losing a lot. The past few days have been relatively difficult. My dad said something really encouraging the day before yesterday though. He said that he was proud of the fact that I never let my bad days on program get to me. I just moved on like it was nothing, just a blink on the radar. I didn't let the hardtimes get me discouraged and defeated.
I have to say, for awhile I was feeling really defeated on program. I felt like, maybe I really can't do this. Maybe I can't reach my goal. But NO! I can. I will reach it. I just keep at it. So, that's why I'm going to go work out right now. For mother's Day my family went to Anothony's Home Port. Everything is huge, cooked in oil, creamy sauces, THE WHOLE NINE YARDS. I was SOOO good. I ordered exactly what I wanted, even though it wasn't technically on the menu. I had the seafood marinara with chicken instead of shell fish and a side of cooked broccoli (w/o oil) instead of a dressing covered salad. Then I spilt a dessert with my grandma. Also, I divided my pasta in half and took half with me instead of eating it all there. It was perfect. it was wonderful. When I got home I decided to throw away my leftovers, and start fresh the next day. I was SO PROUD!! I would have NEVER done that a year ago. I would have ordered something big and fatty, eaten the whole thing, felt guilty and overly full then gotten a big dessert and would have left feeling bloated and not satisfied. It was a great treat. But, today I'm WORKING OUT! HA! And I'm excited to do some sweating.

5/4/07

This week was okay. I did really, really well on the scale. I was suprised. REALLY, REALLY SUPRISED. Losing weight is so much an emotional journey. It certainly has been for me. I'm taking it one step at a time and gaining a better sense of control over this program. If I was to break it down, right now the things that will help me succeed with this weight loss are:

-Concious eating: eating wisely and conciously. Thinking about what I'm eating and not snacking wildly.

-Consistent, vigorous exercise: Being consistent with working out (4-5 times a week, every week) is really what keeps me mentally alert and calm about this weight loss. I freak out easily when I realize I'm not at goal yet. Exercise helps focus me and helps me slow down and care about each step of the process. It makes me not want an instant fix. It's encouraging.

-8 healthy guidelines: In weight watchers there are 8 guidlines to follow. Includes: At least 6 glasses of water today, 2 tsp. of healthy oil a day, a multi-vitamin, at least 6 servings of fruit and veggies, at least 2 servings of dairy, ETC.
It's amazing, when you use your daily points towards these guidlines, the weight really does come off! :D

blogging again...

I am going to start once again recording how my week was on program. I think I need that consistency. Writing my feelings about the week helps me put things into perspective.

I'm slowly gaining weight, and it's really frustrated. I just switched from Core to Flex again, which I think is going to give me a little more structure and control. That'll be good. My dad has offered me an amazing incentive to stay within my daily point range and losing consistently.

$2.50 for every day I stay within my points range.
$5.00 for every lb.

That's great, because I'm broke! I'm starting to plan out my day's meals, including a little wiggle room for snacks. This seems to be helping me get a better grasp on the Flex plan again. (Weight Watchers, for those who don't know.)

I'm sticking with this program because my BMI is at an unhealthy range. I thought I was fine but I'm not. I'm overweight and unhealthy. I need to workout everyday, not vigourously...but something for an hour everyday. I need to eat more balanced meals because I'm not getting proper nutrition! My BMI is like 25. SCARY! It needs to be at about 20-22.

PUSHING ON!