Emotion. Truth. There is a fine line between the two. Or so I thought. Maybe the line is thicker than I believed it to be. The the Word of God. The human mind. Which is greater? The Word of God is greater than human emotion. If it wasn't, our faith would be in vain. The Bible. Made my humans, inspired by God. This seems so incredible. "Incredible" in a "Blow-your-mind, can-it-really-be-true" sense.
I would without a doubt consider myself an emotional person. I'm having a hard time separating secular thought, human emotion and the sovereignty of God. I'm glad that I'm being faced with this because if I wasn't I wouldn't be growing, and that's far more terrifying than doubt. The verse in the Bible that has always confused but at the same time rang true to me is, and this is a rough translation but: I believe, but help my unbelief. That's just it. That hits it on the head.
There have been very few times where I've sat back and thought, "hmm, I wonder if there's a God". But this whole Jesus complex is where I start stuttering and getting that sharp pain in my heart. Not the pain of unbelief, but of doubt. And again, just like the man who asked Jesus to help his unbelief although he believed, I too, have not lost faith in Jesus, nor in what he's said. I keep my faith but pursue a knowledge of it.
The Divini Code and all the hoopla about it trips me up. Not because I think "Oh no, maybe they are right" but rather "Oh gosh, what am I going to say if someone believes this. What do I believe and why do I not believe them" And that is a scary question to me. One that makes me sick sometimes. The reason for my upset? Well, partly because I have this desire to never make waves or cause confrontation. And also a searching heart that isn't content to let people body-slam what I believe without saying something in regards to it.