Wasting Time

It's interesting how people "waste time" or "spend time". Most people live their lives waiting for something to happen and never really live. In fact, most people probably don't even know what it is to live life. I have spent the past few days on the couch flippin' back and forth between nothing but crap and bored out of my mind. Why? Am I lazy bumb? Am I just not creative? Are people too busy to hang out? I think that all of these are partially true but mostly it's because my heart is on everything but God. My mind is so distracted and scattered and my intentions are SO screwed up. I havn't read my Bible, and I mean really read it, in like 2 or 3 months and there was only about 2 weeks before then when I actually did. I havn't talked with God like I actually believed that he was listening to me in probably more then 6 months. I miss knowing what it is to love God. I miss walking and talking with him and others easily or at least freely. I've lost that love and freedom and I want it back...desperatly. I need GOD. I don't need anything else. WHAT THE HECK!!!!! AHHHH!