Quote and Story

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
-Anais Nin

So, I have this friend, we'll call him Bob. I love Bob. Yep, flat out love the kid and Bob's friendship means more to me then alot of other things in my life. I have come to the realization MANY (stressing the MANY emphatically) times that this is not a healthy thing. The very thought of losing Bob makes me sick and depressed. His commradery(sp?), although it may be imperfect and, as many have pointed out to me and I have realized myself, flawed and brings hurts occasionally, it has grown to become something near and dear to me. "I've grown accustomed to his face" (who said that?! I can't remember...). So much of who I am includes Bob that I fear not having him in my life. God has put in me such a heart and love for this person...I believe that love comes from God and is of God...but now I'm controlling the relationship in the flesh, and becoming attached in ways that are hurting me. Letting God be God is something I've never been good at and frankly, it's something that I fear. Bob has a deep place in my heart and I don't know if that'll ever change but I want GOD to have that deep place in my heart and so I suppose it must change. But how? In what way? I NEED GOD! I don't need people telling me what I need and how to get it...I just NEED GOD! AHHH! I love Bob...I want to love God more. "Please Lord, be my everything now, take his place and fill the void in my heart that is only meant to be filled by you. THANK YOU ABBA. PRAISE YOU!!!"