Being a Romantic Can Kill You (or just hurt)

So, I'm in love with love. I know I'm not the only one, which doesn't bring me much comfort but it's still good to know. I read into things way to much and dramatize them in my mind. Over thinking things is NOT a good thing. I'm being really vague about this, I know, but I'd rather not give the details of my life becaue like I said, I dramatize things. Is that even a word?! ha! I love how I make up words all the time. It's entertaining. If not for the people listening at least just for me. :D
So...back to the seemingly ever present subject.
It's pretty difficult and it's sort-of messing with my mind right now. (above pic: That's what I feel like doing!)
I love...love.

"Lord, may I fall in love with you! May you guard my heart because it's running loose in search of someone to give itself to and I want to give it to you. I want to be able to pour out my heart and soul to YOU!! Please Lord, I really need you and I'm so tired to "running after lovers less wild" than you, Lord Jesus, lover of my soul. Okay, I'm tired of words. I'm tired to vain attempts to talk TO you and I'm weary of the feeling that my prayers are just bouncing off the ceiling. I need permission to be who I am right now and I need to know your here and totally in-love with me. I need to know that you believe I'm beautiful and lovely and worthy and...okay.
I'm sorry for not wanting you as much as I need you and not seeking after you as you pursue me. THANK YOU that you meet me here where I'm at and actually always being here with me, through Jesus Christ, may your love be enough for me. Help me believe Lord, clense my mind Lord from everything that is not of you. Speak louder than the condeming voice telling me that it's wrong for me to love people and that everything I'm doing is NOT okay. I need to hear the voice of truth!!!!
I'm excited about tommorow. I'm excited to meet with you. I'm lost God. I'm confused. I'm tired. I'm in need of you. Can we talk tonight?! Is that okay? Am I okay? Where have I been? Where are you? I feel like I need to be more to really have a relationship with you, the Enemy has lied and said that's truth. I've believed him. Break me of that lie!! PLEASE LORD!! SAVE ME FROM ALL OF THESE LIES!!! I need you Lord and I want to really love you. I want to really love people, like you do. Thank you for making me a romantic person, but Lord, it's hurting my heart and I feel like I need permission. Please, may I hear your voice. Draw me to yourself. Draw me to your side. Hmmm...I'm there right now. It's not about what I do; how much I read or write. May I retreat with you this week and may you speak to me. I love you."

Yours TRUELY,

Whitney Elizabeth