50 lbs. doesn't seem such a far-way goal now...

1/9/07: I went up .4 this week. no big deal. I know why and I'm not sweating it. Get this...I only have 8 more lbs. until my 20% mark. That's right, at 38 lbs. I will have lost 20% of my body weight! Isn't that incredible?!?! I'm wicked proud. It's been such an amazing year, weight-wise. After losing 30 lbs. I:

-I love that I don't feel like I'm having a panic attack when I slip up and eat a piece of cake. I now know that it's not the end of the world!!! The guilt is gone.

-I love that I have shape now. I've always been "curvy" but now I'm a definate hour-glass and I think that's incredibly beautiful.

-I love that I can feel my hip bones. I know it seens ridiculous, but before I lost this weight I had to lay down on the ground and suck my gut in JUST to feel those bones. It's awesome actually being able to see them when I stand up. haha!

-I love that I breezed through the holidays and New Years like it was just another week out of my life. Not like it was the beginning of some huge, life changing diet plan. I'm done with New Year's Resolutions. Where did we EVER get the idea that diets had to start on Monday's and after the holidays, rather than after lunch on a Wednesday on VACATION! seriously.

-I love that I can fit into skinny jeans.

-I love that I no longer postion myself in photos the same way: chin up, stomach in, arms behind, no full smile (I thought it made my cheecks look chubby! Oh for goodness sakes!!!)...etc.

-I love that I now know how to eat properlly and can eat out anywhere now without risking total diet breakdown.

-I love that I havn't given up. In the past, I havn't been ready to lose this weight. Last March, I decided I was. I was DONE feeling angry and sick about my body...no one should feel that way! I'm not there yet, but I'm not going to give up. I'm this for the long-haul. No more resolutions...this is just my life.