HAPPY READING!

Scroll to any week you want or read the whole thing. Here are the last 8 months or so of my weight-loss journey. Enjoy. Give me props...this hasn't been a walk-in-the-park AT ALL. :D
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So, if you read my last blog about the joys of dieting you will know that I joined Weight Watchers last week. Well, the week went SPLENDIDLY. I weighed in last night and I've lost 4.8 LBS.!!! WOO HOO! Go WHITNEY! YEAH! :)

3/19/06--So, I lost another 1.8 lbs. this week. That makes 6 lbs. so far! Woo hoo! You know, I've learned alot so far being on this program. I've learned that food should be enjoyed, that consistency is everything. It's not healthy to lose 5 lbs. every week in fact 2 lbs. per week for someone like me is ideal. So, in the long run I'll be able to maintain it. And also, that fighting off temptations is really important and SO much better in the end!!
I've got SO much energy and I really am loving cooking as much as I am now! :) It's AWESOME! 30 more lbs. to go!! YEAH! Let's see, if I lose 2 lbs. a week, give or take a little, for the next 17 weeks I'll lose 34 lbs. MAN! That's awesome!! Consistency is key! :)

3/27/06 Well, once again a very good week on program. I lost 2.4 lbs.!! Gosh, you know, it's interesting because I have this perfectionist fear in me. I wasn't perfect on program this week. I slipped up a few times and ate stuff I shouldn't have in order to keep on the Core plan. But I still lost 2.4 lbs. Tonight at the WW meeting we were talking about measuring our program success based on other things than the scale. For example, what makes you successful on program other than numbers on the scale? Resisting tempations, better fitting clothing, new confidence, energy and increased endurance, etc. I know there will be weeks where I don't lose or when I gain. I can't get discouraged by that because again I have to remember my "motivation" word... consistency. Consistent, healthy, and steady weight lose is what it's gonna take to reach my goal and keep it off. I have lost a total of 8.4 lbs. and I'm SO proud of that. I've lost that in 3 weeks and I'm super pleased with what I've accomplished besides the weight lose. These new eating habits are becoming a lifestyle. A changed and healthy outlook to food. Less guilt when I eat because I know what I'm eating is good for me and that satisfies my body and my mind. I fear alot in life, I don't want food and the obsession with appearances to dominate my life like it does so many people. I am more then halfway to losing 10f my body weight. 8.4 lbs. doesn't sound like alot but 10oes. ha! :) I'm proud of that. I'm proud that I'm doing it the right way. Not shocking my body into some crash diet that I can't maintain for the rest of my life. Our bodies wern't made to yo-yo on and off various weight loss plans and our hearts wern't fashioned to fret over silly things like rolls around your stomach or whether or not you should go to the pool party because you've gained a little weight over the summer. I'm excited. WOO HOO! 2.4 more lbs. 27 more to go. yeah!

**3/2/06**So, I weigh in tommorow and today has been interesting. I FEEL like I've gained but I've been doing everything pretty much right. I mean, not much different from previous weeks. It'll be interesting to see how much of it is mental. I can't become discouraged by what I feel. I'll never get anywhere with that...

4/3/06--Well, I thought that I didn't do well, and I was right. I gained weight. About 3.4 lbs. BUMBER! But you know what, I'm learning about non-scale successes and how consistency is everything. It's so easy to become discourgaged by everything, but I just gotta get right back on track!!

4/12/06--WOO HOO! I knew that staying on track would prove successful! I lost 3.8 lbs. this week. I gained 3.4 last week and lost it all plus some. That's so awesome. I've really been getting discouraged this week. I've been feeling like "Oh, I'm NEVER gonna lose this weight". It really feels like such a far-off goal. You see, I've wanted to lost between 20-35 lbs. for about 4 years now. My weight has just kept creepin' up and I've never been able to do anything about it. But now, I'm actually trying and it's working but I'm letting fear and lack of perfection on program discourage me. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! I'm doing well so far this week. Well, last night I pretty much used all my allowence points (35 per week for off program food) on a chocolate chip cookie/carmel corn snack attack at a party. But hey! I'm gettin' right back on program because one day can't set me back too far! YEAH! I'm on my way! 8.4 lbs so far 26.6 lbs to go! :)

**4/16/06**So, I weigh-in tommorow and I'm excited to. I've had a good week (other than that Tuesday chocolate chip cookie snack attack where I ate WAY too many cookies). I've gone down a pant size, which is really exciting! Almost all of my size 16 pants are falling off of me now. I went to Banana Republic today to buy a pair of jeans in a size down and they look GREAT on! I'm SO excited about that! WOO HOO! It'll be interesting to see if I've lost weight this week or just inches, from my dance class....which is possible!
Still learning to not get discouraged by the scale.

4/17/06: So, it was another successful week. Down a pant size and another .8 lbs.! I only have .6 lbs. to go until I hit my 10.0 lbs. mark! Woo hoo! :) It's coming off slowly and consistently. I'm pleased. One pound a week is healthy and consistent, even if it's slower then some may take it off. I for the first time this week actually felt my weight loss and realized that I AM actually on my way to losing all the weight I want to. It's been a journey of trial and failure for the past couple of years; trying to lose weight and giving up and being unhealthy. I'm finally really getting healthy and in shape and it's such a wonderful blessing. I really believe that it's a blessing. I mean, I'm taking care of my body and that's God's will for me. yeah! :)
So, my latest "obsession"...FRUIT. I'm a fan! I swear I ate at least 25 strawberries yesterday. And they were BIG strawberries! I've been eating SO much fruit lately. I suppose it's definatly a better alternative to cookies, candy or bread...yeah, that's for sure! Yes, this is now offically becoming a lifestyle change. I'm still loving my ballet/jazz class...and every week when I go in for my WW meeting I always think of a few things to change in the upcoming weeks. I need to add in some addition exercise (I'm thinking about joining a rowing team!!) and alter a few foods that I thought were "on program" but actually really arn't (such as Beef and Broccoli from Safeway! Just because it's green and not fried doesn't mean it's on program! ha!). ETC. My mini-goal for this week: Reach my 10 lb. mark (hopefully exceed it) and stick with the program, counting my flex pts. if I use them.

**4/21/06**So, I have an UPDATE! I feel good about myself. I'm wearing these new jeans in a size down with a fun top, and I just really feel good today. I'm starting to see some serious results from all this lifestyle change and it's leaving a positive effect on the way I feel about myself. I've got a little boost of confidence from it all...and that's definatly a good motivator! Woo hoo! 9.6 lbs. so far, 25 lbs. more to go!! YEAH!
4/24/06: So, I was pretty sure that I was gonna do horrible this week! I ate way off program over the weekend. Why? Hmm, well, for starters I was unprepared. This weekend was my youthgroup's Lock-In @ church and really good food was out all night. My stomach gave way to the brownies, "aussie bites" (they looked healthy, but NOPE), etc. BUMBER! But GET THIS...I LOST 1 LB. !! Yeah! Even through all that! Ha! That's awesome!

**4/28/06** So, I have unintentionally "kicked my buns into gear". On Monday the woman @ WW said that since I had eaten off program over the weekend that I needed to "hussle my buns" (HAHA!!) this week so the weight didn't come on and ATTACK this week! Well, this week has been crazy busy. Being in the Darkroom up at the college developing pics for my B/W photography class all week long has kept me very busy. Hense, less food. Hense, more activity. HENSE, (I love that word...can you tell?!) WEIGHT LOSS! YEAH!! Gosh, I can't believe that I'm actually on my way to losing this weight. I feel so good. Gosh, I've eaten SO much fruit this week, it's not even funny. Because it's a fast alternative to meals that would take forever to make in the early mornings. And then Tuna or an egg scramble for lunch, etc. I mean, sure, I've had more then that. But I sware the past 2 days I've really been good on program. Man, I mean, I'm excited to weigh in on Monday because I think that the hecktiveness (is that a word?) of this week is gonna pay off on the scale. YEAH! 10.4 lbs. so far 24.6 more to go. woo hoo!! I need to remember to not become discouraged if I don't look exactly like I dream of ("test my heart Lord...I don't want this to be an idol"
by this summer. It takes people sometimes a whole year to be perfectly toned and fit like they want to, even after they lose the weight. But I figure I've lost a little over 10 lbs. in two months...and that's very good and consistent. :) Either way, I'm real proud of how I've been consistent the whole time

5/1/06: So, I'm having a problem with my weekends. It seems like I always blow it for myself on the weekends by going totally off program. I still lose but I know I don't lose as much as I could if I'd just stick with it for those three days. Problem #1: Not planning for my long days without healthy good available. Problem #2: The things I do plan arn't appealing enough to keep me away from the sweets that I usually dive head first into.
I did lose this week, which is awesome. I lost .6 lbs. A little over a half a lb. is okay considering how much I went off program over the weekend. (Can anyone say cheesecake and potato salad?! mmm)
I need to regroup and remember what my goal is. I need to be more creative with my food choices and PLAN AHEAD! I have a big camping trip this weekend with the Leadership Team @ Grace and I've GOT TO PLAN for that or I'll eat my way through the barrells of saltwater taffy and carmel corn in Seaside like non-other. It's so important to keep your goal in mind but it's not enough. You've gotta have something to help when you start craving everything under the sun, except that apple you stashed in your bag for safe-keeping!! Keep on keepin' on, Whit! YEAH! Yosemite is only a couple of WEEKS away! Ahhh! Okay, so it's so easy to get discouraged by that, but I shouldn't...it takes people sometimes a whole year to get to goal. So, I refuse to discourage myself by the short period of time before I go to Cali and walk across that bridge to see my family. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but that's been a goal of mine since the begginning. To be able to walk across the same little bridge I cross every year towards the beach where my whole family gathers for summer break and look totally different coming across! Oh man. It seems like a small thing, but that would mean the world to me. :)

**5/5/06**Animal crackers and Red vines. Two of my least favorite desserts. Seriously, I don't even really like them. The crackers taste like lemon and days in Nursury B with the kiddos and the red vines are overlly sweet and not worth the chew. And yet I found myself succuming (is that a word?!) to the tempation last night as they sat right in front of me at a seminar. THAT SUCKS! But here's why I'm writing about it, not that red vines and animal crackers (which are both almost or are fat-free) will set my whole week back, I'm writing because of what I was feeling while I indulged in those not-so-tasty treats. I felt guilt. Gut-sinking guilt. The kind that I used to feel before I began program. The sort of beat-yourself-over-the-head because you're not being perfect guilt. Now THAT sucks more than the crackers and liccorice. This is one of the reasons I joined WW in the first place. I knew by feeling this sort-of guilt I was putting undue pressure upon myself and working my way to an unhealthy lifestyle of some sort. Either an eating disorder or overeating for pleasure. And now I'm hear, feeling pretty crappy about eating all that junk yesterday. I CANNOT, and I've said it before, become discouraged along the path of losing weight and give up. NO SIRY BOB!!! I've gotta perservere in this. I really do want to be able to walk across that bridge this summer looking
FANTASTIC! That's such a desire of mine. But part of the long term, non-scale related success is learning about emotional connection to eating and letting go of that guilt which seems to overwhelm me when I eat off program, no matter how small the portion.

5/7/06: So, I LOST weight! Oh man, I've been freaking out lately because I havn't been perfect on program. But I think that my 2 hrs. of dance twice a week and hour of jazzercise twice a week PLUS all the extra stuff I do inbetween...I think all that is catching up and making a difference and evenining (sp?) my little "mishaps" during the week. Which is really exciting, because I've never been good at the whole being perfect thing!!! Can I get an amen?! ha! Never-mind. Well, I have to say a little bit of exciting "news"/"update"...I have some AB DEFINITION! Yeah! That's right, I'm working by behind off and it's starting to pay off. And that new siting is a HUGE encouragement to keep on doing those killer ab exercises. Soon, hopefully I'll burn off the fat layer covering the top and it'll all start poppin' out! WHOOP WHOOP. So, on Tuesday at the Jazzercise class my good friend Patty and I are taking, it was super intense because we had a substitute who has a JAZZERCISE NAZI! I'm tellin' ya! Woo. Well, we were on our knees and elbows and doing butt exercises (KILLER!) and both of us the whole time were yelling (literally) out "SWIMSUIT!! SWIMSUIT!!" HA! Oh man, that was serious motivation!! I tell ya, when you find good enough motivation, accountability and encouragement, you are on your way to weight-loss success. I'm ON MY WAY! That now makes 12.4 lbs. (I lost 1.8 LBS. THIS WEEK! WOO HOO!) and less than 7 lbs. to go for my 10åBR>

5/15/06: Well, this week has been crazy. I've been working my BUTT off (literally, my butt pockets are saggin' a bit! oh darn, gotta buy new jeans!!). I've been doing 2 hours of Ballet/Jazz twice a week, 1 hour of Jazzercise twice a week and then on top of all of that wonderfulness I've been doing alot of the strength and flexability moves we do in those classes on my own every single evening before bed. It's weird, I have the most energy at about 10:00 to do those. I mean, I won't just go for a jog or anything, but lunges...SURE, why not?! haha! Well, I lost .4 lbs. this week. It's not much, but hey it's better than nothing (or gaining). I'm definatly losing more inches than I am pounds. I realized that I've been eating a bunch of extra allowence points than I should during my week. So, I'm kind-of maintaining this 12 lbs. I've lost. 12 LBS. BABY! yeah! :) That's so awesome. But, I'd like to keep losin', so my goal this week is to be concious of those extra points I use and try to NOT use them. :) I'm gonna plan my dinners this week and try to not have any "no sugar added brownies" from Starbucks (which I have decided are probably full fat and calorie either way). I'm definatly doing enough exercise and for a gal who didn't work out at all before and ate 2 Starbucks chocolate Chip cookies pretty consistently (I was SHOCKED tonight to find out how BAD they are for ya! It's INSANE.), I'm pretty proud. WHOOP WHOOP!!
Jazzercise tommorow, Ballet/Jazz on Wed. and for now, I'm headin' to bed to do some ab excersises and lunges. BATHING SUIT BABY! OH YEAH! I swear, I just might wear one this yeah, you know, without a long skirt over it!!

5/22/06: So, the past few weeks have been hard on program. I don't think I've updated this for the past two weeks. Let's see I lost .4 lbs. last LAST week and this week I stayed the same. WHAT AM I DOING? Let's see...I'm eating my 35 flex pts. I get during the week little by little and always going over them...I'm not counting them. I'm eating a whole lot of fruit but missing out on my protein so I give into temptation easier. I'm not cooking for myself as much which always leads to problems during the day. HMMM, I need to get back on track and for the next 6 WEEKS be on top of it and just press on. CONSISTENCY! It would be so easy to become discouraged right now, and to be honest I am a bit, but NO! I AM GOING TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT! It might take me 6 months (which is totally normal and fine) but I WILL DO IT!

**5/28/06** So, I weigh-in on Tuesday (because tommorow is Mem. Day and WW isn't open). Now is the time I've decided to impress all of you with little tid-bits. Ha. Well, not really. But I'm pretty proud of the muscle def. that is beginning to appear. For example, who knew that you could have defined shin muscles and that your calves had so many individual parts that could be worked on. I've been throwin' on a little Frank Sinatra every night and doing some strength training moves. That on top of all the ballet/jazz/jazercise (CARDIO! YEAH! BATHING SUIT!! WHOOP WHOOP!!), my shoulders, quads (most definatly!), calves, SHINS, buns (oh yeah!), hammys, even my abs, which I've recently discovered is VERY hard to define! You've gotta do alot to get a little!
It's paying off and further motivates me to stay committed. I'm getting a bt discouraged with my eating and lack of creativity and the scale hasn't budged (which isn't neccesarily bad, it's better than gaining!)...so, I've gotta STEP IT UP! Keep my goal in mind and AVOID COOKIES. :D

5/29/06--YES, YES, YES!!! I REACHED MY 15 POUND MARK! OH YEAH!!!!! :) Gosh, what an amazing feeling. PRESSIN' ON!

6/7/06--Well, I lost .2 lbs. which is fine and dandy. I thought I was gonna gain this week so it's good to lose a little even if it's not much. SO MUCH OF THIS IS MENTAL! GOLLY GEE WIZ! :) I have approx. 3 weeks left till I walk over that bridge in California....I want to lose 5 lbs! That's my goal! PRESSIN' ON!!! GOTTA STAY MOTIVATED!

6/12/06: WOO HOO! Gosh, I'm TOTALLY gonna lose that 5 lbs. before I leave for California. I lost 2.6 this week. How fabulous is that?! Gosh, I've pulled out a couple of things that I used to wear that were at the time too tight...now they are way to big. Seriously! I wore a pair of pants yesterday that I hadn't worn since I started program and they were HUGE on me. It's frustrating but extreamly exciting! Now, my new challenge is gonna be adding exercise into my week because I no longer am in the ballet class...it ended. SO...needless to say, I'm gonna have to keep up with something or other to keep on the this great trail that I'm continuing to blaze. I only have about 1.5 lbs left till I reach my 10ark! That's HUGE! I'll have lost 10f my body weight!!! Then only 1 lb. more to my 20 lb. mark. AHHH! YES! I'm guessing that by Christmas (or before) I'll be at my goal weight! And then gosh, a whole year to keep toning and firming until I go to California for school. All the school's I'm applying to are in the L.A area so I'll most likely, unless God has a different plan, end up down there. BATHING SUIT BABY! YEAH!!!!

6/19/06: gained .2 lbs this week. Not the end of the world!

6/25/06: Okay, it's time to get real. I FEEL HUGE!! I have eaten totally off program the past couple of days and am feeling really discouraged by the lack of exercise. I feel it/see it mostly in my arms. I'm real self-concious of that because I feel like I've gained weight and it's showing there. I leave for California in about 4 days and let me just say this....I...AM...NOT...GOING...TO...LET...THIS...WEEK...
DISCOURAGE ME!!!! NOOOO! This is ONE week and I'm going to set a goal for the next 4 days. I'm going to exercise/be active all 4 days and get back on program; cooking for myself. Now that all grad parties are out of the way I should do much better. The cake, cookies, brownies, cupcakes, etc. are all a thing in the past and I'm MOVING ON! I want to reach goal (35 lbs) by Dec. That's DEFINATLY something that I can accomplish. But I MUST add activity back into my life because without it I really don't think I'm gonna MENTALLY make it very well.

6/26/06: WELL, WELL, WELL! To much of my suprise...I LOST WEIGHT THIS WEEK! 1.2 lbs to be exact. Which means....DRUMROLL PLEASE....I've lost 10f my body weight!! WHOOP WHOOP! That's right, I've reached my 10ark! And, by the time I reach my goal (around Christmas time) I'll have lost more than 20f my body weight! CRAZINESS!!! :)

7/6/06: Just got back from California. I did some major activity while I was there. It was great fun! I went on a 5 mile walk beside the ocean in Monterey; a leisurely bike-ride through Yosemite Valley; I swam in Monterey (the pool, NOT the Pacific) and in Yosemite. And walked EVERYWHERE. I ate a bunch of bread and some sugary stuff but over-all I'm REAL proud of how well I stayed on program. I didn't go hog-wild AT ALL. And I think I made up for all the bread and stuff with the activity I added in. It was a great vacation and now I'm off to the Czech Republic for 3 weeks. Lots of meat and potatoes in that country but hey, walking 2 miles with that heavy backback for the hotel, day hike that's INSANE (or so I hear) and keeping up with those active Europeans should keep me in shape for the next few weeks. I'm SOOO excited! :D

8/2/06: So, I got back from the Czech Republic a few days ago. I weighed in on Monday and found out that all my incredible fitness feats in Europe were worth it. I lost 5 LBS. when I was in Europe for 3 weeks. What an amazing trip it was. I walked at least 5 miles a day and we took a ten mile hike up a mountain side in high 90 degree weather. It's insane how much I exercised my body. It felt horrible but good at the same time. :) I almost died...literally, I got SO dehydrated...on that hike and when walking through Prague for so many hours. But I'm here and SUPER proud of how my body is looking. That now makes 24 lbs. WOO HOO! 20 more to go. My goal is to reach my final goal weight by December. I lost about 20 lbs. in four months so I think it's pretty safe to say I can do it again. AH! YES! I can't believe how different I look...I really love it. :)

8/20/06: So, It's been really hard getting BACK on program after being in Czech for 3 1/2 weeks. I missed a meeting and havn't been very consistent on program. I gained a bit last week but I lot less then I was anticipating. Here's my plan, because I'm NOT giving up:
Why Do I want to get back on program?

I want to get back on program so I can lose the last 25 lbs.

Why is it important for me to refocus my attention and start tommorow losing weight again?

Because I have made it half way and there's no point in turning back or denying my way back to square one.

Do I need to confess that I've been denying that I am not gaining back the weight?

yes, I need to stop denying that I've been gaining the weight back. I need to stop making excuses.

Why should you stop making excuses? What's gonna stop you from making the same ones tommorow?

I should stop making excuses because I'm only hurting myself. I'm not happy when I'm unhealthy and not getting proper nutrition.
Getting a plan of action and refocusing will stop me from making the same ones tommorow. Also, getting certain foods out of sight will help compulsive snacking. Bigger, healthier meals will also help.

How do I plan to lose the next half of my weight?

I will refocus my attention on the basics of program and start to cook for myself again. I will start drinking more water. I will take this program day by day until the weight is gone. I will research and stop procrasinating about exercise. I will go outside more often and walk to Clark Lake to do quiet time.

What small goal can I set for myself for the next month or so?

My next goal for the month or so is to lose 4 lbs. by Sept. 23rd. If I lose more, great, but that's my goal for the end of August, into the month of Sept.

What will motivate me to keep this goal?

My hair appointment at Gene Juarez for the John Mayer Concert. (Talk with mom and dad. Each pay half)

8/25/06: Well, I'm part way through the week and it's going well so far. The first few days were hard but after I weighed in, found out how much I gained and got motivated by the class, I was on my way. I went home after the Tuesday meeting and cooked up a storm. That has definatly helped and setting out a huge bowl of fruit just out in the open has also helped. But I'd say the biggest helper has been a sign I put on my fridge. It has a countdown of my weekly flex points (35 for the week) and a place after each one to write how I've spent it. This way I don't have any compulsive snacking. I've gotta write it all down. All my flex pts. spent I mean. I've been doing it so far this whole week and it really keeps me aware of just how I'm spending those points. I'm spending them on little things like ice cream, cool whip and bread. It's just interesting to see that. Getting exercise is still hard for me but I'm finding that walking to Clark Lake every couple of days is good. I worked out HARD 3 days ago and was SO sore yesterday and the day before that I couldn't make myself go do it again. Today, I'm just lazy. I need to keep myself motivated somehow to do that! Maybe a prize system or something. I don't know, I'm just focusing all my attention on the food thing and a little exercise here and there. I'm eating SO many bananas, apples and peaches! It's insane! But It's so true, I feel SO much better when I eat like this. Lots of brown rice, stir-fry, couscous, fruit, lean meats, etc. And I need to drink more water. I'll be interested to see how much I lose this week.

8/29/06: Okay. I had a great week. I lost all that I gained last week plus a little. :) I lost 4 lbs. WOO HOO! It's so worth it, staying on program and doing it right. This week I start my countdown to the John Mayer Concert as well as start the process of losing 4 lbs. by the 23rd of Sept (John Mayer). Yes, my goal is to lose 4 lbs. by Sept. 23rd and then my parents will pay for me to get my hair done at Gene Juarez that day. I'm really excited and really want to get that done. SO...I'm gonna make it happen. I bought my first pair of "Hot Butt Jeans" today. HAHA! YEAH! You know, the low, tight, dark wash jeans that make your booty look lovely. I know, I know, scandalous. But it's awesome. They wern't expensive at all, and they look great. I'm excited. It's a nice reward for all this hard work.
PRESSIN' ON! Gonna go make myself lunch and do Taebo. WHOOP WHOOP!!!

8/31/06: TAEBO ROCKS! I got these Taebo tapes from Goodwill this week and they are awesome. I'm just doing the basics video but I've actually done it more then once this week and have enjoyed it. It's a good workout. It definatly gets my heart pumpin' and sweat flowin'. I've decided to do the basics tape every week until I'm not sore (i'm pretty sore right now!!) the next day. And then I'll bump it up to the next tape. YEAH! I've found exercise that works for me!! I really want to try pilates as well this year.

LONG TERM GOAL: I want a flat stomach by next summer.
I think that's reasonable. I think for someone of my age and metabolism, that is a completely realistic goal. I might even reach it before summer. But that's my Long Term Goal. And if I reach it before then, well, then it's my goal to MAINTAIN it till the summer. So I can finally buy a two piece (not tankini) bathing suit and look GOOD in it! :D YEAH!

9/5/06: It's all about consistency. One day at a time, no guilt, move on. I gained ONE stinkin' pound this week. NO BIG DEAL. I worked out a ton but I ate over my weekly allowence of flex points. I'm getting right back on program tonight and moving on. Tommorow is a new day. This new week on program starts today. I'm gonna plan, plan, plan this week and stop snacking away my flex points. Gotta keep those in check! :)

9/19/06: So, I lost 2.2 then gained one more. And this Saturday is the John Mayer concert. I didn't earn the hair appointment but I'm gonna pay for it anyways. This week is going better but I think I've hit a bit of a plateau at 169 lbs. AH!

9/25/06: I went up .6 and so I've switched to the flex plan. So far it's going real well this week. I like the structure and getting back to the basics of program. Hopefully I'll get over the plateau of 169 and continue on to my goal of 140. YEAH! No, correction...I WILL make it over this plateau.
10/2/06: FINALLY! I lost some weight this week. How frustrating to have like 3 consecutive weeks with nothing but gain. I'm doing flex again this week to really kick it into gear. I like it. I have to say it's harder than core for sure but I think it's good to have a little bit more structure at least for next little while.
10/9/06: Up .2 but I know why. Not journaling, eating bites of things and not counting it. No exercise. Basically, I need to get back to the basics of program.

10/17/06: I lost 1.2. yeah! I journaled everyday and planned. yes. program works.

10/20/06: MID WEEK THOUGHTS....I've been doing really well on program this week. Journaling rigourously and watching my points. Although I find it hard to stay within my daily point range of 22. That's just not much food. Well, I've gotta learn to use them wisely. They go fast. Umm, I joined a gym this week and feel really good excercising again. Less guilt with eating when I know I'm burning some off. :) I'm a bit disturbed by some of my eating habits, or rather tendencies. I'm always looking for something that's wrong with me, so this may be a huge overreaction. BUT...non-the-less. I'm a bit of a compulsive eater. I eat alot. And really, really enjoy food. My mom does too, and that worries me a bit. Wow, I can't believe I'm admitting this. But...okay, well, I eat for emotional purposes alot. Because food is "fun". It's pleasuresome. I didn't find that I had this problem when I was on core and working out. But I think that it has nothing to do with Core or Flex. It's just me. What do I do about it?! Do I talk with someone?! gosh. It makes me seem sick. I'm not sick...not at all. But I think that my tendency leans towards binging and running. You know, allow yourself to over-indulge and then work out till you die to somehow make up for it. I don't do this but I'm tempted to. It seems like an easy way out, you know?! Eat what I want but no guilt because I work out. OKAY...THIS STOPS NOOOWWW. I think I need some advice as to how to stick with Core. I need to become emotionally healthy. Or at least, how to control my cravings on Flex. Because it's crazy. I enjoyed that quesedilla, sugar cookie with M&Ms and chocolate cupcake way to much. Or did I?! AM I GOING CRAZY?! ah! Okay. Back to the basics. Healthy, BALANCED, protien-rich, self-control NOT DEPRIVATION, exercise 3 times a week for an hour, WATER...the basics. Write down in journal when I have these compulsive tendencies to eat half a plate of brownies or 10 servings of Lasagna.
10/24/06: I lost 1.2. yeah! Consistent weight loss is beautiful. That makes 27 lbs. YEAH BABY!

11/1/06: It's amazing how much weight one can gain while off program for a week. So, I went to Biola Bound this weekend. For anyone reading this, it was a preview weekend for Biola University around LA. SO...I ate a bunch of stuff off program and it added up...FAST. I gained 6.2 lbs. this week. It's really halarious to me actually. I'm not all depressed and discouraged. I'm laughing inside. over 6 LBS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I'm sorry In and Out burger, you are not fabulous enough to be eaten again. Well, at least not starbursts, blue berry bagles, ice cream, jamba juice AND In and Out cheeseburgers. Not a good idea. It's just funny to me. I've got a plan for the next few weeks so I can burn off all I gained plus some. Even just this mind-set tells me that I've really changed. I mean, before I would be ridden with guilt. Now, I just accept it, laugh at it even, and get in the kitchen. Not to eat the whole fridge but cook healthy stuff to keep on hand and plan dinners for this week. Which is one of the things that I've found that keeps me on program...planning meals. PLAN. PLAN. and PLAN SOME MORE. That's my tip. :) YEAH! I gained a BUTT LOAD of weight! woo hoo! Now I get to go BURN IT ALL OFF! yes! hahahaha

11/2/06: So far, today has been a great day. I've been real serious about staying on program...like religiously. Watching portion sizes and all. I'm determained to have it be like this everyday, so I can see a difference. I've heard people who have lost a significant amount of weight say that they still feel big. They see a difference but they at times have to remind themselves that they look differently. I've got really accustomed to positioning myself certain ways in pictures and even just when I'm talking to people so that it's most flattering. Don't hold my head that way, turn my face in this direction and my arms always behind me to give the illusion of thinness. It's amazing how much muscle memory I've retained regardless of this weight-loss. hmm, it's just interesting. I wonder after I lose 50 lbs. if it'll be the same. I bet so. I mean, I hope that I'll feel comfortable in a bathing suit but maybe the problem isn't that I don't like how my behind looks like oatmeal but maybe it's a deeper issue that I'm just unaware of. More physcological.


11/6/06: Mental anxst. I'm so stressed about this 6 lb. weight gain. For some crazy reason, I somehow believe that I will not burn it off ever and that I'm just now going downhill. NO. NOOOOOO! I will not allow myself to do this. It's mental. Crazy, insane, unimportant mental anxst. I'm gonna weigh-in tommorow and if I only lose 1.5 lbs. I will be okay with that. Because that is healthy weight-loss. Even if I am 6.2 lbs. in the bank, who give a rip?! Who really cares how LONG it takes me to lose 50 lbs?! No one but me. and I shouldn't care. So, I won't. I'm just giving it to God.

11/7/06: I lost 4.4 lbs. this week and am totally encouraged to have another GREAT week. YEAH!

11/13/06: Why is it so hard to avoid the goodies at small group? Why can't I just get my daily portions of dairy, oil, veggies, water, etc. in?! I havn't been journaling the past couple of days or watching the 8 nutritional guidelines like I want to. I weigh-in tommorow and am a bit nervous but I feel like I've lost. Hopefully the 5 cookies (it wasn't worth it) won't make that much of a difference on the scale. I rationalize my life away. Everything from my walk with God to this new healthy eating life-style. I don't know why. But I know that it's not a way to live. It's ridiculous. ah!

11/14/06: WOO HOO! Yes. I DID lose. I lost 2.8 lbs. to be exact. I need to find my journal though! I CANNOT go any more days with "guessing" on point totals for the days. And I really want to stick with the "8 healthy guidelines" each day. And the way I'm gonna do it, is by planning the points for the 8 healthy guidelines (veggies, fruit, oil, dairy, water, etc.) each day before I eat anything else. Then I will use the points that I have left for the other food. yeah! I'm on my way to 30 lbs. AH! That's so much weight. Honestly, I didn't think I would be able to do it. I mean, I always hoped I would but it seemed like such a distant goal. And now it's coming so soon. 2 MORE LBS. BEFORE I WILL HAVE LOST 30! AHHHH! yeah!! That's so exciting to me. When I'm sitting in WW meetings on Tuesday nights I always feel a bit awkward. I'm the youngest in the meeting and don't have like 150 lbs. to lose. But realistically, 50 lbs. is ALOT OF WEIGHT! I'm gonna look completely different than I do right now why I lose 25 more lbs. I mean, I look completely different than I did 8 months ago. YEAH! I really am gonna lose like 50 lbs. That's incredible.

11/22/06: AH! Okay, I'm getting discouraged. I'm losing motivation. I gained 2.2 this week. NO BIG DEAL. BUT I'm just so tired of staying in this comfortable 167 range. I'm going up and down between 5 lbs. I need to just lose it and move on! It's hard! AHHH!

Evaluation 11/28/06

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been yo-yoing, give or take a little, back and forth from 167. It’s really annoying to me. So, I’m taking the time now to evaluate what I’ve been doing, why, and how I will get back onto program.

-I have been consistently going over my 22 point daily allowance.

-I lost my journal and have been inconsistent in journaling on other things.

-I have not been cooking for myself very often; eating much more processed, fast stuff.

-I have not been doing any planning of meals ahead of time.

-I’m not consistent in exercise, no scheduling of it ahead of time.

These are the contributing factors in this plateau of mine. What do I need to do to break the plateau and press onto my 30 lb. mark?

-Find ways to use less points:
*Veggies
*Low-point snacks
*More water
*More exercise/activity points

-Find a journal alternative until Dec. 10th (don’t wait till Dec. 10th to journal!!)
*Notebook
*QuikTraks
*Online log

-Start to COOK meals again, because they boost creativity and motivation. PLUS they are much healthier than processed meals
*Fast from Smartones
*Go to store with 3 recipes in mind
*Eat more stir-fry
*Cook with mom more, ask for her help

-Schedule exercise for 3 times a week
*As dad for incentive plan for sticking with it week by week
*Think of what WILL motivate me!
*Ask for scheduling help


These are the things I will RESUME doing. Here are the reasons why I slipped into these habits again and the reason why I WANT to begin again fresh this week:

*I stopped journaling because I lost my spiral bound journal. It was no longer staring me down and wasn’t there for me to review back on and keep me accountable day by day.

BUT

That is no excuse, I will find a new way to journal until Dec. 10th (when more journals are in stock @ WW) because journaling keeps me accountable for what I put in my mouth. This is something I need! I need to journal consistently to lose weight because without it I lack accountability, which is vital.

*I stopped cooking for myself because I’m lazy and I lost motivation to exert effort.

BUT

That is no excuse, cooking for myself is what keeps me motivated and energized. Planning that one meal a day keeps me on track with the rest of my points. It helps me exert my creative culinary juices and is physically good for me.

*I’ve been going over my daily point range for while now, mostly because I’ve lost motivation to eat less and count points. I think to myself, usually at night, “Oh well, it’s just a banana, pretzels, and orange juice.” It’s 5 more points I don’t have but I rationalize it because it’s relatively healthy food.

BUT

That is NO excuse, I need to learn to eat 0 point snacks more often and water. Plus I must spend my points differently during the day so I have AT LEAST 5 leftover at the end so I can eat them when I want a late night snack.

*I have not been exercising consistently lately because I’ve been so busy and haven’t been planning it into my schedule.

BUT

I cannot let people’s “Oh there’s no time to workout today”, OR “Do you want to skip it today, you look tired”, stop me from going. I must decide why it’s important to me and have outside accountability and incentive. I’ve got to schedule it in 3 times a week like a class at school.


Why I lost weight @ first and lessons to be learned from the past:

-Disciplined about daily points

-Drank TONS of water

-Cooked for myself always

-Was on Core, therefore:
*watched flex points carefully
*Careful about bread intake
*Ate more fruits and veggies

-Motivated by goals (What are my goals right now, am I just floundering?!)

-Exercised consistently (ballet/jazz, 2 hrs. twice a week, jazzercise 1 hour one a week, every week)

11/30/06: Well, I lost 1 lb. I've got my journal and plan to have a great week on program. You know what, losing 1 lb. doesn't seem like much but that's pretty good after thanksgiving and the week after. so, I'm excited. :)

12/12/06:I lost 1 lb. I'm consistently taking it off. But I'm making my self sick with my little "splurges". I ate out the other night and had a huge plate of creamy pasta, it gave me a chronic stomach ache for two days. Then cupcakes and chocolate chip cookies, two "downfalls" of mine. Crazyness. Today I'm starting a "birthday beautification plan" which is basically a detox from all the CRAP in my system.

12/20/06: After a few stressful weeks (2 weeks) of not being on program and not weighing in, I reluctently weighed in tonight. I lost! Over 2 lbs.!! That means that I'm only 3 FREAKIN' OUNCES away from my 30 lb. mark! That's SUCH A BIG DEAL! I remember 4 years ago, sitting in a hotel room clipping out magazine articles of girls who I considered having "great abs" and "perfect legs." I remember all the summers crying in the dressing room because I knew I was not "beach ready." It's pretty insane that I've actually lost 30 lbs. I'm not at goal yet, but I'm closer then I ever thought I would be. I'm so proud. I'm a totally different person, on the outside, then I was a year ago. It's amazing. :)

1/2/07: I havn't updated this in FOREVER. Well...here's a little re-cap. I was 3 oz. away from 30 and then christmas came. I did much better than I thought I did. I only gained TWO POUNDS. which is lovely. I am 2.3 lbs. away from goal and I plan to lose it this week. no sweat. actually..ALOT OF SWEAT! I'm trying out new exercise classes at 24 hour fitness because I've got a free 30 day pass. WHOOP WHOOP. And I really want to try all the different classes, so I'm gonna try and do a different one each day this week. Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, and maybe Sun. YEAH! It'll be way fun. I've discovered a new passion and it's a very healthy one. Salsa dancing. I love it. I'm pretty good at it, which is awesome. I hope to take lessons soon. One of the exercise classes is a salsa dance class for an hour. YES.

1/9/07: I seriously can't believe it's already 2007. That's amazing. Well, I lost 1 lb. this week. I'm trying to put things into perspective. That is a great loss. I wish I would have lost the last part of the 30 lbs. this week. I'm anxious to move past this goal. But I can't get to hasty! seriously. Well, I'm going to switch back to Core this week and workout too. I want to jump start the next part of my slim-down. I've become way to consumed with numbers and inches. I need to start focusing on different goals. I need to take a step back and ask myself why I want to lose this weight. Who am I losing it for? Is it actually MY weight loss? Or is it in God's hands? *sigh*...this will be a good week. :)

1/11/07: I BOUGHT SKINNY JEANS. THEY ARE HOOOTTT.

1/17/07: Skinny jeans arn't for everyone. I have recently bought a pair that I love. I don't look like a model in them, but who cares?! I have recently come to the conclusion that I am a curvaceous woman. yeah, yeah, I know...WOW! But it's true, even after losing 30 lbs. I look at myself in the mirror and think to myself, "what the CRAP!" "I still don't look like Giselle! why not?!" I would like to lose another 20 lbs. But I have to face the fact that even after I reach "goal" I will not be a six foot brazillian model. I will also never have perfectly tan skin. I am a 5' 8", fair skinned, light-eyed curvaceous woman. And I am TOTALLY okay with that. I need to re-evaluate why I want to lose this weight and what will make it a lifestyle rather than a diet. People have said (vague, I know) that once you find the activity that you feel truely happy and passionate doing, you'll lose the weight and keep it off. For me, it's dancing. The only problem: I can't find a place that's cheap and easy to dance in. I LOVE to salsa dance. It's an INCREDIBLe workout, but it keep my adrinaline pumping and I can't stop once I start. I want to be able to dance my way down to a healthier weight. That's what keeps me motivated, dancing.
Also, when I eat whole food, not processed, I feel WAY good about myself. When I cook for myself and snack on healthy stuff...that's when I really feel like I'm treating my body well.
I've switched back to the Core plan on weight watchers and it's going really well. I havn't weighed in yet since I started it again a week and a half ago but I think I'll see the results. I want to increase my endurance so I can live an active lifestyle and not wear out.

I love to kyake, swim, dance, do yoga, try new classes at the gym.
I love eating fruit, couscous, lean meat, stir-fry, veggies, and water.
I love spending all day trying on clothes and having things fit well, going to farmer's markets and buying herbs, walking around downtown seattle taking pictures.

All of these things are good for me. I also love:
eating fancy pasteries from bakeries, cheese quesedillas, chocolate chip cookies, cupacakes, vegan chocolate cake from Marlene's, pb&j sandwiches, entire containers of cool-whip, sitting at home all day watching Grey's Anatomy, etc.
THESE THINGS NEED TO BE IN MODERATION...but they are perfectly fine and lovely. :)